Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages & Text

Christmas is a magical time. It tends to bring back happy memories of family gatherings and charming traditions that have been passed down through the generations, funny Christmas wishes, Christmas carols, gift exchanges and family feasts are just some of the enduring traditions that make the season one of the world’s favorite holidays.

christmas wishes sayings

Funny Christmas wishes

I hope your smiles will just be as big as your credit card bill in this Christmas! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!

I hope Santa fills our socks with cash money instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!

Christmas is not only for praying and praising But for drinking and messing around also, Merry Christmas!

Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!

Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic, Merry Christmas!

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Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn. funny Christmas wishes.

Christmas is the festival of love and spirit So let us drink the spirit to feel love, Merry Christmas too!

Hey you two over there, It’s the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I added wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!

One important rule of Christmas; You can eat all the sweet candies as long as you don’t forget to brush your teeth. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

funny christmas wishes

Short Christmas wishes

A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!

I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!

I don’t understand why people like to say “Mary Christmas.” Isn’t it Jesus birthday? We should say, “Jesus Christmas.”

I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas! funny Christmas wishes.

Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included. funny Christmas wishes.

Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them the rest of the year.

funny christmas wishes

Funny Christmas wishes for best friend

I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him. funny Christmas wishes.

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.

Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

I have Kept some photos in my home So come here instead of Church you can drink and pray, And no more boring speech from the priest Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

Santa told me you’d been very good this year, I told him it was just lack of opportunity. Merry Christmas!

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Funny Christmas speech

Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas, If he sees you there he may not. So come here and have a party with me, Merry Christmas to you!

There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. funny Christmas wishes.

I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!

A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves; They’re always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Thank you. funny Christmas wishes.

This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a losefunny christmas wishes

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